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If you think you may have micro-cheated, the chances are you have. Usually, if you’re thinking that you may have overstepped the limits of your relationship or are feeling guilty, it is because you did something to feel guilty for. And micro-cheating is that thing.

Should you come clean?

That depends. In my book, you should always be 100% honest. Others say what your partner doesn’t know can’t hurt them. But in fact, it can, and it can hurt you.

If you feel guilty even for something minor that you know won’t happen again, your partner has the right to know. What if the situation were reversed? Wouldn’t you want to know?

Your behavior changes when you feel guilty. You may even become suspicious of your partner’s behavior, pushing them away. You also might think that you already micro-cheated, so how different is cheating really?

All of these things lead to a crack in your relationship. If you realize you micro-cheated, you may want to come clean. Let your partner know you weren’t even aware of it until later and wanted to be honest so they would know it was a mistake and wouldn’t happen again. [Read: How to Make Your Ex Jealous & Leave Them Begging for Forgiveness]


Lying about micro-cheating

If you decide to hide your micro-cheating past from your partner, it can be a slippery slope. If you know you flirted with a coworker or thought about your ex in the shower, you may be able to forget about it and move on without a discussion. No big deal, right?

Sure as long as it really was no big deal. Often times, these are small lapses in judgment. I’ve been there. I had a boyfriend but was being hit on by a cute salesman. I flirted back for a few minutes before leaving to never speak to him again. That is something that didn’t alter my relationship at all.

But if I went back to that counter weekly to continue to flirt, that would be more serious. Micro-cheating can very easily be a gateway into cheating. So as long as you know where the line is and don’t cross it, you may not have to share every flirty detail with your partner.

Just try not to make micro-cheating a regular occurrence, it can be dangerous. A good way to think about it is, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your partner doing. [Read: How to Talk Dirty to Your Man Over Text & Leave Him Hard and Horny]

Why is micro-cheating so bad?

You might think if micro-cheating is so subtle, what is the big deal? Well, one or two little hiccups may not be a big deal. But if micro-cheating becomes a pattern, it can be serious.

Not only can micro-cheating cause uncertainty, jealousy, and even obsessiveness for the “victim,” but it can create tension in the relationship for both partners. The person doing the micro-cheating is essentially taking advantage of their partner by getting away with as much as they can without it “technically” is cheating. [Read: Lovemaking more important to me than anything, husband says as ‘tired’ wife seeks divorce ]

How to talk about micro-cheating?

Micro-cheating is a sensitive subject to approach. Because it is such a small or subtle behavior, getting upset about it can come off as rash and paranoid. This can cause the person who is micro-cheating to become defensive.

Any discussions about micro-cheating need to remain calm. You and your partner should not accuse or jump to conclusions, rather share how certain behaviors make you feel and what you can both do to do better.


Micro-cheating does not have a clear-cut definition. But as long as you and your partner remain open and honest, micro-cheating shouldn’t come between you.

[Read: How to resolve conflict without the drama]


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