Q: When we were dating, he was always very active and healthy. But he was in a car accident which led to a serious leg injury. His leg had to be in a cast for 3 months in which he gained a lot of weight because he was not so active. Since then he has not been able to get back on track.
We got married about six months ago and I have noticed he’s less interested in sex. He complains a lot about how fat he looks and he has a hard time getting aroused. Can weight gain affect sex?
A: Unfortunately, a situation like this can become a vicious cycle. When he feels less attractive, he may be tempted to eat even more for comfort which will only cause him to gain more weight.
You can encourage your husband by taking walks with him or doing something active together like dancing or swimming. Then try to rid your house of sugary and unhealthy items so he won’t give in to temptation too easily.
Yes, weight gain affects sex but you should try and be supportive. Encourage him to talk to you whenever he feels down about himself. When he does, give him a pep talk. Remind him of his great qualities and how much you care about him.
As for sex, try not to put him under a lot of pressure. He may be afraid of the possibility of not pleasing you or of being too unattractive naked and turning you off. Start by getting him comfortable with clothes-on foreplay. Tell him you’re happy to just be close to him until he feels more comfortable moving things further.
Once he starts eating better and being more active, this may boost his sex drive. When weight gain affects sex, the best thing you can do is tackle the body image issue first and the rest should work itself out.